(Originally Posted on 12/11/12)
A few months ago myself and nine other men were invited to attend a Life Coaching Course being offered by one of the Assistant Wardens here at FCI McKean. Since no similar course had ever been attempted in this type of environment (a prison) none of us involved knew what to expect.
Initially, we spent the first portion of our weekly two and half hour meetings discussing specific concepts explained in the textbook ("Becoming A Professional Life Coach" by Williams and Menendez). The remaining time we spent practicing our "coaching" inquiries on a volunteer member of the group. These coaching sessions laid us bare to one another and as a result our inquires/replies became much more personal/emotional than any of us had anticipated. I'm certain none of us ever expected such a genuine sense of camaraderie to evolve out of our very diverse group of men, but we are all grateful that it did.
Over the course of the last month or so, between classes, each of us has been meeting with other small groups of men who have expressed an interest in being coached. These additional sessions have allowed my classmates and I to develop our coaching skills and gain some invaluable experience working with "clients". During this same period our class was also fortunate to receive some additional instruction from a pair of professional Life Coaches brought into the institution as guests by our instructor, the Assistant Warden. Each of those guests was able to give us a new perspective on the profession of coaching by exposing us to a diversity of personal styles.
One of those guest coaches suggested that we examine a wide variety of open-ended questions and try to identify the ones that seem resonate with us on a personal level. She then gave each of us a journal and asked us to use it to record the answer to at least one of those questions each day. By the the third or fourth day, I knew that this was something I wanted to share with a few others. This exercise has served to greatly inspire me each day and it is my hope that as other people read MY inspired replies that they too will be inspired to respond in their owns words.
"What do you want?"
"What are you afraid of?"
"What is this costing you?" ("this" being my re-entry efforts)
"What is your dream?"
"What are you building towards?"
"What has to happen for you to feel successful?"
"What are your healthy sources of energy?"
A few months ago myself and nine other men were invited to attend a Life Coaching Course being offered by one of the Assistant Wardens here at FCI McKean. Since no similar course had ever been attempted in this type of environment (a prison) none of us involved knew what to expect.
Initially, we spent the first portion of our weekly two and half hour meetings discussing specific concepts explained in the textbook ("Becoming A Professional Life Coach" by Williams and Menendez). The remaining time we spent practicing our "coaching" inquiries on a volunteer member of the group. These coaching sessions laid us bare to one another and as a result our inquires/replies became much more personal/emotional than any of us had anticipated. I'm certain none of us ever expected such a genuine sense of camaraderie to evolve out of our very diverse group of men, but we are all grateful that it did.
Over the course of the last month or so, between classes, each of us has been meeting with other small groups of men who have expressed an interest in being coached. These additional sessions have allowed my classmates and I to develop our coaching skills and gain some invaluable experience working with "clients". During this same period our class was also fortunate to receive some additional instruction from a pair of professional Life Coaches brought into the institution as guests by our instructor, the Assistant Warden. Each of those guests was able to give us a new perspective on the profession of coaching by exposing us to a diversity of personal styles.
One of those guest coaches suggested that we examine a wide variety of open-ended questions and try to identify the ones that seem resonate with us on a personal level. She then gave each of us a journal and asked us to use it to record the answer to at least one of those questions each day. By the the third or fourth day, I knew that this was something I wanted to share with a few others. This exercise has served to greatly inspire me each day and it is my hope that as other people read MY inspired replies that they too will be inspired to respond in their owns words.
"What do you want?"
- Love reciprocated (got it)
- Liberty (almost got it)
- Financial Security (working on it)
- A wife and children
- To know with certainty that I had a positive impact on other people's lives
- To have done twice as much "good" as I've done "bad" before I die
- Peace and quiet
- Respect and loyalty from all those within my circle of influence
"What are you afraid of?"
- Letting people I care about down
- Dying in prison...50 years from now
- Getting dragged into someone else's mess
- Mediocrity
- Living with a serious physical disability
- Becoming institutionalized
"What is this costing you?" ("this" being my re-entry efforts)
- Time away from my personal goals and priorities
- Occasionally, my peace of mind
- Money
- Possibly the trust of some of my peers due to my frequent association with prison staff members and the administration
- My books...possibly because they are the only physical possessions I have after 13 years in prison
- The HOPE Mentoring Program because of the time I've already invested into it and how my reputation is attached to it
- My reputation...it defines me personally and affects the way other people not only view but interact with me
"What is your dream?"
- To walk out the front door of this prison into the arms of my waiting loved ones
- To fall asleep and wake up next to my wife
- To visit both of my parents in their homes
- To advocate restorative justice efforts before all of Congress and the President in Washington, DC
- To live on the beach someplace warm
- To visit St. Lucia, Hawaii, Australia, the Philippines and a number of other places outside the US
"What are you building towards?"
- The materialization of my dreams
- A future filled with even greater opportunities than the present
- My life beyond these walls
- The point where I possess all the necessary skills and experience needed to affect widespread and lasting change
- Something that has yet to be revealed or realized
"What has to happen for you to feel successful?"
- Whatever I have envisioned needs to be fully achieved
- Knowing that my work or personal accomplishment somehow has helped others or brought joy into their lives
- Success for me is not simply attaining a specific set goal...it's more about going beyond it and exceeding everyone's expectations...like when Daryl and I told everyone that we were going to run a marathon without training for it and no one was impressed...so we had to increase the goal by setting a time limit of 4 hours in order to exceed (some but not all) expectations. Despite the fact that it nearly killed me, literally, it didn't feel like a success when I crossed the finish line because I missed the high mark. I felt like I should have been able to achieve that and more. Obviously, this is something I need to work on.
"What are your healthy sources of energy?"
- The Sun..shining down on my face (even in cold weather)
- The Earth...when I am "rooted" to it during Chi Kung practice
- My Yoga practice which strives to be a moving meditation
- The sound of Ro's voice and the beautiful smile on her face...she fuels and inspires me
- Competition amongst my peers
- Daily clean eats and healthy lifestyle habits
- The compulsion to not only lead by example to do it from out in front of the pack
"What are you attached to?"
"What is your dream?"
"What are you building towards?"
"What has to happen for you to feel successful?"
"What are your healthy sources of energy?"
- My books...possibly because they are the only physical possessions I have after 13 years in prison
- The HOPE Mentoring Program because of the time I've already invested into it and how my reputation is attached to it
- My reputation...it defines me personally and affects the way other people not only view but interact with me
"What is your dream?"
- To walk out the front door of this prison into the arms of my waiting loved ones
- To fall asleep and wake up next to my wife
- To visit both of my parents in their homes
- To advocate restorative justice efforts before all of Congress and the President in Washington, DC
- To live on the beach someplace warm
- To visit St. Lucia, Hawaii, Australia, the Philippines and a number of other places outside the US
"What are you building towards?"
- The materialization of my dreams
- A future filled with even greater opportunities than the present
- My life beyond these walls
- The point where I possess all the necessary skills and experience needed to affect widespread and lasting change
- Something that has yet to be revealed or realized
"What has to happen for you to feel successful?"
- Whatever I have envisioned needs to be fully achieved
- Knowing that my work or personal accomplishment somehow has helped others or brought joy into their lives
- Success for me is not simply attaining a specific set goal...it's more about going beyond it and exceeding everyone's expectations...like when Daryl and I told everyone that we were going to run a marathon without training for it and no one was impressed...so we had to increase the goal by setting a time limit of 4 hours in order to exceed (some but not all) expectations. Despite the fact that it nearly killed me, literally, it didn't feel like a success when I crossed the finish line because I missed the high mark. I felt like I should have been able to achieve that and more. Obviously, this is something I need to work on.
"What are your healthy sources of energy?"
- The Sun..shining down on my face (even in cold weather)
- The Earth...when I am "rooted" to it during Chi Kung practice
- My Yoga practice which strives to be a moving meditation
- The sound of Ro's voice and the beautiful smile on her face...she fuels and inspires me
- Competition amongst my peers
- Daily clean eats and healthy lifestyle habits
- The compulsion to not only lead by example to do it from out in front of the pack
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